Does My Bump Look Big In This?

DOES MY BUMP LOOK BIG IN THIS?
Words by Danielle McLaughlin

Ever since that iconic photo of a heavily pregnant Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair back in 1991, bumps have been ‘in’.  Or rather, I should say, bumps have been very much ‘out’. Annie Leibovitz’s shot of a gorgeously rounded and glowing Demi ushered in a new era of celebrity bumps. The days when a pregnant belly was to be tucked quietly away behind something loose and nondescript were thankfully well and truly over. Those of us less accustomed to life in front of the lens rejoiced in a revolution in maternity wear that left behind the wasteland of pinafores and boring elasticated slacks, and instead brought us an ever-expanding (if you pardon the pun) selection of funky, stylish designs.

From the classic and understated, to the loud and irreverent, maternity design emerged to cater for every taste. Bumps had finally found their voice and hordes of grateful pregnant women rushed to buy the T-shirts. Women can now celebrate their new shape and have a giggle at the same time. Companies, such as Nappy Head (nappyhead.co.uk), produce a range of maternity clothing with slogans such as ‘FBI – Funky Baby Inside’, ‘My Bump Rocks’ and (my personal favourite): ‘It’s not over till the fat lady screams’.

The trend of celebrity pregnancy hasn’t been all positive though. It can be demoralising for ordinary mortals, who are perhaps struggling with morning sickness and exhaustion and unsure of how they feel about their new body shape, to see stunningly beautiful models and movie stars glowing serenely from the airbrushed pages of a magazine. And then there are those galling celebrity bikini photos, taken at about six weeks after the birth that seem to say ‘baby? What baby? This body’s as perfect as ever’.


It can be wearying to find the all-pervasive ‘culture of thin’ invading the sacred space of pregnancy. If ever there is a time to show fad-dieting the door it’s during your pregnancy when you really need to concentrate on eating healthy foods for both you and your baby. Forget about size zero and concentrate on staying healthy and getting your proper intake of minerals and vitamins. Pregorexia is not a medical term, but a newly-coined phrase used to describe an eating disorder that affects pregnant women who have an obsession with being thin. Nutrition is hugely important during pregnancy so, if you suffer from an eating disorder, it is now more crucial than ever to talk to your doctors about getting help.

Even women comfortable with their new body shape will still succumb to twinges of ‘bump envy’. It’s only natural that we feel the need to sneak sly glances at our pregnant comrades to see how they are shaping up, so to speak , but even those with an iron resolve find it hard not to draw unfavourable comparisons with their own bellies. Is my bump too small?  Or too big?  The situation isn’t helped by the pronouncements of well-meaning friends, or even complete strangers, who will stop you on the street and declare that you are looking ‘very neat’, or carrying ‘high’ or ‘low’, or that ‘it must be twins!’   When out and about, it can be disconcerting to find that the bump is what it’s all about and your belly is rubbed and patted like a lucky Buddah.  If this bothers you, you could always consider investing in one of those ‘Hands off the bump’ slogan t-shirts. That should get the message across!

As someone fortunate enough to have waddled my way through three pregnancies, I can say that bumps vary not just from woman to woman, but also from pregnancy to pregnancy. So dress that bump up in some glad rags and enjoy your new shape. Now may not be the best time for glitzy high heels, (especially if you can no longer see your toes!), but you will get great value out of a few well-chosen key maternity pieces that you can wear again and again. To those who question investing in maternity wear, I always point to my black Boob nursing top; a treasure when breast-feeding and still a wardrobe favourite to this day, despite the fact that my youngest has recently started playschool. Finally, for the entrepreneurial among us, there’s always the option of making the bump pay its way with some bump slogans of your own. How about ‘your advert here’, for example?  Now there’s the mother of all marketing ideas!