There are some days in parenting, that even before they start, you know they are going to be a challenge.
Monday was to be one of those days.
It was to start with a visit from a surveyor (I’ll save the trials and tribulations of selling and moving house with kids for another day), who was arriving at some point after 8am. The house was clean and tidy at 8am. By 8.02am it was not.
When the surveyor arrived (at the thankfully early time of 9am), my daughter took a shine to him and flirted mercilessly with him as only a nearly-four year old can…ie, lying on her back with her legs in the air shouting ‘look at me man ah ah ah ah’. He took everything in good spirits until he stepped in cat poo in our garden (it’s really just a myth that cats don’t poo in their own back yard – plus she’s also taken to occasionally weeing up the chimney – which I don’t even know how to deal with).
Needless to say, he left pretty sharpish. Probably for a stiff drink and a lie down.
We then spent a relatively uneventful hour and a half at playgroup before decamping to a café for lunch, which resulted in a ball of feral children inventing ‘the coat game’ which mainly involved hiding under coats and stomping their sandwiches on the floor.
Next it was time for another school tour, which always makes me a bit sad because, despite single parent families apparently being the norm nowadays, I was once again the only single parent. The school, however, was nice, and neither of my children disgraced themselves, so I call that a win.
We followed this up with a trip to the doctor’s for the highlight of any woman’s calendar – a smear test. Having a smear test with two children in tow is about as much fun as it sounds, especially when one of those children is very curious and keeps moving the light to get a closer look. That led to some interesting questions.
After that, we sped off to ballet class which now resembles a Santa’s grotto, sending all the kids sky high with excitement and leading F to decide to fill his nappy in spectacular fashion; leaving the unmistakable whiff of baby poop for the rest of the afternoon’s classes!
Finally, we arrived home to eat sausages in silence and enjoy an early night. Obviously I was up two hours later and two hours after that and two hours after… well you get the picture.