The Age of Aquarius…or Virgo, or Pisces…

Words by Sarah Franklin

When my first son was born, on the West Coast of the US, our friends came to visit in hospital, as friends are wont to do. They brought traditional baby gifts; teeny-tiny clothing; the obligatory stuffed animal with treacherous detachable parts, and … a full work-up of our hours-old infant’s astrological chart.

‘Um, thanks..?’ I squeaked, hoping that my lack of gushing would be put down to having just given birth.

‘I got it to you just as soon as I heard his time of birth’ said my well-meaning but clearly nuts friend. ‘This way, you can be guided by it his entire life’.

I think at this point I faked an urgent need to do…something (who knows what? It didn’t matter) and changed the subject; but it got me thinking. Some people really, really set their store by star signs. And some…don’t.

Unless your due date is the first of the month, I’m quite sure you’ve heard a variation on the question, ‘So, you’re on the cusp. Would you prefer an Aries or a Taurus?/Sagittarius or Capricorn?/ Leo or Virgo?’ Perhaps, unlike me, you’re fully prepared for the answer, and, in fact, have a very strong preference. We were often told that we ‘should’ want a particular star sign because it would fit in well with the other signs already in our family. As it turns out, both our boys share the same star sign; nobody has told me yet whether this will lead to a star-crossed mutual love, or whether it’s one more thing to argue about having to share. So far, they seem blissfully unaware that they hold all the astrological power in our household by sheer presence of numbers; we’re hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible.

The trouble is; whether you believe in this stuff or not, once somebody’s put the idea in your head that the Zodiac signs have actual significance, it’s impossible to forget about them again. So, without further ado, let’s look at each sign and what this might mean for your future family make-up:

Aries – The Ram Children born under this star sign will be curious, energetic, and forceful. Essentially, toddlers from the moment they’re born. Good luck!
Taurus – The Bull This is my star sign, so I can assure you that Taureans are gracious, happy, and constantly charming. We wouldn’t be at all averse to change or even remotely stubborn…nope, definitely not.
Gemini – The Twins Let’s not even pause to consider the ramifications of a Zodiac sign that implies two children rather than one. Let us, instead, give grateful thanks that there isn’t a star sign for triplets.
Cancer – The Crab Sensitive and loving, protective and nurturing; your little Cancerian will have you all wrapped up and playing ‘doctors and nurses’ before you know it.
Leo – The Lion Friendly extroverts, your Leo child will be the one making friends at the mother-and-baby group before you’ve even got your coat off, or figured out whether you’re in the right place. Sorted.
Virgo – The Virgin Virgos are typically quiet, shy, and highly intellectual. So, if your little one’s the first child in your family, s/he’ll revel in the calm and peace of it all…but beware him/her, as any subsequent children join the family and peace is shattered…
Libra – The Scales Charismatic and diplomatic, your Libran baby will be the one charming all the other mummies in the room whilst you look for the tastiest biscuit. Take advantage of it; teamwork is everything.
Scorpio – The Scorpion Fiercely independent and incredibly loyal, children born under this star sign will play happily for hours while you get on with things. Don’t cross them, though; they’ll never forget…
Sagittarius – Centaur the Archer Sagittarians are big thinkers who like to make huge plans. So if you’re ever hunting down your Sagittarian child, look up. He’s probably scaling the roof, as part of a grand and as-yet-unnamed plan.
Capricorn – ‘Goat-horned’ People born under the sign of the goat tend to be reliable, thoughtful types, who like to help. Don’t be disconcerted by the sight of your little one at her Nana’s, doing the washing up. It’s not child labour; it’s simply her star sign manifesting itself.
Aquarius – The Water-Bearer More than any other sign of the Zodiac, Aquarians are able to think utterly rationally. Don’t expect temper tantrums from this child; it’ll be more a case of a carefully-worded treatise explaining exactly where you’ve gone wrong.
Pisces – The Fish Dreamy, friendly, imaginative people are often born under the star of Pisces. These traits in a child lend themselves to hours of incredible make-believe play. Just make sure they still know bedtime is real.

While studying psychology at university, a good friend of mine wrote her thesis on star signs. She canvassed hundreds of people, giving them a description of their zodiac signs which, they’d been told, exactly represented them. The vast majority of people – even those who’d claimed to be ‘unbelievers’ – recognised themselves in the description of their horoscopes. But here’s the rub; my pal had used four generic ‘scopes. So remember; however much your baby may appear to live up to his or her horoscope; at the end of the day, they’re first and foremost your child. And in this world of uncertainty, that’s the most predictable thing of all.